Tag Archives: WOOF

XXX-Men

xxxmen.jpg

I guess it was only a matter of time before it happened and the timing is pretty much perfect given that X-Men Apocalypse premiers in theaters this week; Men.com proudly (I’m assuming ‘proudly’) presents the XXX-Men…. yikes!  Not entirely sure how I feel about this given my affinity for all things X and we haven’t seen a lick of a single trailer… yet.  But I can tell you this: I WILL be buying these scenes.  Purely for scientific reasons, of course….

… yeah… I barely believe that, myself.  I should point out that despite the subject matter, this is a 95% SWF post with 100% NSFW links.  Click at your own peril.

The cast they’ve chosen is surprisingly kinda good with one exception; Landon Mycles (or Marcus Mojo, if you prefer) as Colossus.  Not that Landon/Marcus isn’t damned attractive or anything.  It’s just that Colossus is supposed to be a HUGE bodybuilding slab of Russian man meat.  Landon/Marcus looks more like your All-American, Boy-Next-Door archetype.  Now is that gonna stop me from viewing all the scenes?  Hell to the NO.

So who’ve we got?  Let’s take inventory:

  • Wolverine played by Colby Keller: totally on-board with this, although I would’ve appreciated Colby Jansen more in the role.  He’s actually Canadian and he’s got more of the rough-and-tumble body I would want from Logan.  I think Men.com is more just trying to pattern after Hugh’s iteration of the character.
  • Iceman played by Mike DeMarko: Yes… just yes… F*CK yes.
  • Pyro played by Paul Cannon: Pretty sure I read somewhere that Paul is a pretty unapologetic racist or general tool bag, so yeah, this kinda works.
  • Cyclops played by Brenner Bolton: no clue who this guy is other than he looks damned good in those visors.  Cyke is my least favorite character so we’re moving on.
  • Colossus play by Landon Mycles: see above and just know that I’m right.
  • Magento played by Paddy O’Brian: Let me preface this by saying Paddy O’Brian is brutally hot and could do a million bad things to me that I would cherish for eternity.  That being said: NO.  Why?  Dumb.  Magneto should be older anyway.  They should’ve gotten someone like Rocco Steele, Dallas Steel or even Dirk Caber for the role.  Like HELLO?  Why is Men.com missing out on a golden opportunity to play up some Daddy fetish stuff with the XXX-Men?  DERP.

At any rate, you’ll have to head over to Men.com for more pictures, preview trailers, etc.  Before I depart though, can I just point out who (IMHO) would’ve made a much, MUCH better Colossus (at least in terms of physical stature)?

Zeb Atlas!  DUH.

ZebLogan