Author Archives: xanderated

XXX-Men

xxxmen.jpg

I guess it was only a matter of time before it happened and the timing is pretty much perfect given that X-Men Apocalypse premiers in theaters this week; Men.com proudly (I’m assuming ‘proudly’) presents the XXX-Men…. yikes!  Not entirely sure how I feel about this given my affinity for all things X and we haven’t seen a lick of a single trailer… yet.  But I can tell you this: I WILL be buying these scenes.  Purely for scientific reasons, of course….

… yeah… I barely believe that, myself.  I should point out that despite the subject matter, this is a 95% SWF post with 100% NSFW links.  Click at your own peril.

The cast they’ve chosen is surprisingly kinda good with one exception; Landon Mycles (or Marcus Mojo, if you prefer) as Colossus.  Not that Landon/Marcus isn’t damned attractive or anything.  It’s just that Colossus is supposed to be a HUGE bodybuilding slab of Russian man meat.  Landon/Marcus looks more like your All-American, Boy-Next-Door archetype.  Now is that gonna stop me from viewing all the scenes?  Hell to the NO.

So who’ve we got?  Let’s take inventory:

  • Wolverine played by Colby Keller: totally on-board with this, although I would’ve appreciated Colby Jansen more in the role.  He’s actually Canadian and he’s got more of the rough-and-tumble body I would want from Logan.  I think Men.com is more just trying to pattern after Hugh’s iteration of the character.
  • Iceman played by Mike DeMarko: Yes… just yes… F*CK yes.
  • Pyro played by Paul Cannon: Pretty sure I read somewhere that Paul is a pretty unapologetic racist or general tool bag, so yeah, this kinda works.
  • Cyclops played by Brenner Bolton: no clue who this guy is other than he looks damned good in those visors.  Cyke is my least favorite character so we’re moving on.
  • Colossus play by Landon Mycles: see above and just know that I’m right.
  • Magento played by Paddy O’Brian: Let me preface this by saying Paddy O’Brian is brutally hot and could do a million bad things to me that I would cherish for eternity.  That being said: NO.  Why?  Dumb.  Magneto should be older anyway.  They should’ve gotten someone like Rocco Steele, Dallas Steel or even Dirk Caber for the role.  Like HELLO?  Why is Men.com missing out on a golden opportunity to play up some Daddy fetish stuff with the XXX-Men?  DERP.

At any rate, you’ll have to head over to Men.com for more pictures, preview trailers, etc.  Before I depart though, can I just point out who (IMHO) would’ve made a much, MUCH better Colossus (at least in terms of physical stature)?

Zeb Atlas!  DUH.

ZebLogan


Justice League VS Teen Titans

Teen Titans.jpg

In case it isn’t plainly obvious by the subject matter of 99.9% of my posts, I feed the needs of my inner child on a daily basis.  The trailer announcing the upcoming Justice League VS Teen Titans movie, is akin to sitting down at an all-you-can-eat buffet.  It didn’t just blow my mind, but the noggin holding it together.  I’m especially pumped at the fact that the story line revolves around Raven and Trigun.  I’ve always LOVED all that ish.  I’ll be over here fangirl’ing till it arrives.  Until then:


The Doctor is IN!

Benedict.jpg

Benedict Cumberbatch makes his debut as Dr. Strange on Entertainment Weekly‘s cover.  Ummmm… SHWING!!!


Get Out of my Head

overthink.png

“We have met the enemy, and he is us…”  Those words came from Walt Kelly in a satirical comic piece meant to highlight how humanity as a whole, needs to look to themselves for cleaning up the environmental disasters we unleashed on ourselves.  Other than coming off as real bad grammar to me, the saying also holds true for internal conflict.

As a kid, I was perpetually bored in school.  Nothing my teachers said, would hold my attention.  Due to my never ending disinterest with the world, I tended to do poorly when the dreaded report cards came.  I hated the tediousness of homework while the tests and quizzes did nothing more than regurgitate more of the same.  It wasn’t until Mrs. Ingrid’s 3rd grade class that someone looked at my low grades from a different angle.  I went through a series of tests meant to challenge my mind which, to be perfectly honest, was probably the most fun I remember having in school.  The most prominent memory I have is having to instruct another person to use a View-Finder, while my back was turned to them, forcing me to perfectly describe how to operate the damned thing.  It’s not as easy as it sounds and certainly not for a 9 year old boy.  Long story short?  I excelled at each test, much to the surprise of my step-father… that asshole.

But I digress…

Turns out I wasn’t dumb or slow; the complete opposite, really.  I had an IQ of 126.  The only reason I remember the number is because the moment Mrs. Ingrid said that, I immediately told her: “2!“.  Took her a while to realize, I inexplicably felt compelled to divide 12 by 6.  To this day, I still don’t know why I did that.

Growing up, all my teachers have always told me that I have an advantage with this sponge of a brain resting in my head; I sure as hell do NOT agree.  I’m locked inside, trying to express the thoughts and images whirling about, through art, music, dance, writing, singing, cooking, blah, blah, blah-freaking-blah.

Flash forward to my adult life where I’ve basically squandered the intelligence I was born with, and now it’s turned inward.  My mind is always racing, always hypothesizing and worst of all, always self-analyzing.  Some days, I can’t imagine a more torturous existence.  I’m always second guessing myself and my reactions to things around me in the pursuit of normalcy.

I find irony in the fact that I’m always wishing I was something special, something unique, and yet here I am, striving to be ordinary JUST to fit in.  It’s my fervent belief that everybody has their own demons and inner-struggles that they must contend with, but when I speak to people, I see how they perceive the world and I would say nearly everybody I run into, worries about the same things.  It’s rare that I meet someone who sees beyond the valid concerns of everyday life, and plays in MY sandbox…

… it gets very lonely here, sometimes…


Merry Christmas!

xmas.gif


NSFW: Wolverine’s Lap Dance

I wrestled with whether or not I would put this on my blog given how absolutely SUPER NSFW it was.  Ultimately, I decided that it was my duty to help Brent Ray Fraser show off his booty… and other unnamed body parts.

wolviestrip1.png

This will be your one and ONLY warning: do NOT watch this in the company of those below the age of consent and most assuredly NOT around anybody who may or may not have a say in whether or not you keep your job the next morning.

Full video, after the jump.  Also?  You’re welcome:

Continue reading


OUCH!

ross.png

You know that just HAD to hurt!


Fantastic Beasts Teaser

fantasticbig

The teaser for the Harry Potter Prequel, “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” has come into our lives and I am so tickled pink, it’s scary!

fantastic1.png


Furious over Star Trek

beyond.png

The trailer for Star Trek Beyond just came out and I hadn’t realized that a director of the asininely and inexplicably  multi-sequeled Fast & Furious franchise had directed it.  And you know what?  Regretfully, it shows.

Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be as successful a story as when Brett Ratner did X3 in place of Bryan Singer?  I mean come on!  Seriously, what is up with that music?   Even Spock looks disturbed.  SMH.

spock


Team Avengers

TeamAvengers.png