Schocking Resignation

SchockReceipts

I don’t know if you’ve been watching the political news lately (GAWD knows, I usually avoid it) but it seems that Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock is resigning from office.  The reason?  Gurl’s got a naughty shopping addiction.  Between decorating his office to look like it jumped straight off the screen of Downtown Abbey to charting private planes to go see Katy Perry in concert, your taxpayer dollars have been burning a hole in the naughty little politico’s wallet.

Truth be told, my only real interest in the young Congressman was the very many shirtless pictures one could easily find on any number of social media sites; many of which allude to his potentially closeted existence.  In case you’ve been living under a rock and have not indulged your sight on his undeniably hot body and chest, allow me to remedy that:

MH0611_CVR_Newsstand V3.indd

You’re welcome.

Is it weird that I feel bad for guy?  Sure, he’s an extremely right wing conservative and could very well be the quintessential definition of a Republican twat-waffle, but that means he and his large chest won’t be gracing the news very much longer.  My hope lies in that he somehow keeps his hot little photographer on hand to document his many opportunities to show off that self-entitled and rock-hard physique of his via Instagram.  We need more photos like this one:

SchockSurf

I wish I could speak more towards any of his infractions committed whilst in office, but like I said, I avoid political news.  In fact the very FIRST time I even knew of this guy was when he was the guest judge on a Quickfire Challenge in Top Chef Season 7, Episode 7.  The funniest thing about that, is the whole point of the challenge was to make one delicious bite of food that fits on a toothpick in order to point out how the ethics community in the house of representatives discourages any undue swaying of opinions among the elected officials.  There was probably more to that, but I just kept looking at the guy and saying to myself: “Oooh cute!  I want one!“.

SchockTopChef

Only time will tell what this means for the young overachiever’s political career.  I give it less than a week before the gay porn companies of the world offer him millions of dollars to appear in one of their seedy little productions… cut to me buying that DVD the moment it’s released.

For now though, in the immortal words of RuPaul: Sashay, Away…

SchockShoes


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