I guess it was only a matter of time before it happened and the timing is pretty much perfect given that X-Men Apocalypse premiers in theaters this week; Men.com proudly (I’m assuming ‘proudly’) presents the XXX-Men…. yikes! Not entirely sure how I feel about this given my affinity for all things X and we haven’t seen a lick of a single trailer… yet. But I can tell you this: I WILL be buying these scenes. Purely for scientific reasons, of course….
… yeah… I barely believe that, myself. I should point out that despite the subject matter, this is a 95% SWF post with 100% NSFW links. Click at your own peril.
The cast they’ve chosen is surprisingly kinda good with one exception; Landon Mycles (or Marcus Mojo, if you prefer) as Colossus. Not that Landon/Marcus isn’t damned attractive or anything. It’s just that Colossus is supposed to be a HUGE bodybuilding slab of Russian man meat. Landon/Marcus looks more like your All-American, Boy-Next-Door archetype. Now is that gonna stop me from viewing all the scenes? Hell to the NO.
So who’ve we got? Let’s take inventory:
- Wolverine played by Colby Keller: totally on-board with this, although I would’ve appreciated Colby Jansen more in the role. He’s actually Canadian and he’s got more of the rough-and-tumble body I would want from Logan. I think Men.com is more just trying to pattern after Hugh’s iteration of the character.
- Iceman played by Mike DeMarko: Yes… just yes… F*CK yes.
- Pyro played by Paul Cannon: Pretty sure I read somewhere that Paul is a pretty unapologetic racist or general tool bag, so yeah, this kinda works.
- Cyclops played by Brenner Bolton: no clue who this guy is other than he looks damned good in those visors. Cyke is my least favorite character so we’re moving on.
- Colossus play by Landon Mycles: see above and just know that I’m right.
- Magento played by Paddy O’Brian: Let me preface this by saying Paddy O’Brian is brutally hot and could do a million bad things to me that I would cherish for eternity. That being said: NO. Why? Dumb. Magneto should be older anyway. They should’ve gotten someone like Rocco Steele, Dallas Steel or even Dirk Caber for the role. Like HELLO? Why is Men.com missing out on a golden opportunity to play up some Daddy fetish stuff with the XXX-Men? DERP.
At any rate, you’ll have to head over to Men.com for more pictures, preview trailers, etc. Before I depart though, can I just point out who (IMHO) would’ve made a much, MUCH better Colossus (at least in terms of physical stature)?
Zeb Atlas! DUH.